Read Around the World: Bahrain

For Bahrain, I read Yummah by Sarah A. Al Shafei, and I’d highly recommend it to anyone doing a Read Around the World project.

The heroine of this book is Khadeeja, and Yummah is the nickname given to Khadeeja by her grandchildren. This book appears to be the fictionalized story of Khadeeja’s life, as written by one of her grandchildren.

The story begins with Khadeeja’s arranged marriage at the age of 12 and presents her marriage as a fairytale love story. Khadeeja falls in love with her husband the first time she looks at him and continues to adore and cherish him as the best of men, even when he ditches her and moves to Dubai when she is pregnant with their ninth child. If Bahrain has a Hallmark channel, I imagine this is the sort of story it would feature.

I have really struggled to compose my thoughts about Yummah, and have left this post in drafts for a week now, because my opinions about this book are a bit contradictory.

On the one hand, I feel like I should be critical of this book because it romanticizes the story of a child bride. Khadeeja marries at the age of twelve! That is ABUSE. I have been thinking about this for days, worrying that I am not being sensitive to a different culture with different social and cultural norms. But, just because something is the social norm within a culture does not mean it is right. I believe in my core that subjecting a girl to marriage at the age of twelve is abuse.

But I’m still glad that my Read Around the World quest brought me to Yummah. Even though it made my inner feminist cringe, it also gave me a wonderful glimpse into life in Bahrain. Was it a romanticized glimpse? Yes! But even though Yummah was presented as a fairytale, it inadvertently shined a light on the problems with societies, cultures and religions that teach women to be subservient to men.

This novel touched me deeply. Not, I believe, in the way the author intended, but it reminded me that so many women in the world do not yet understand that their worth does not hinge on their subservience to a man. I am so privileged to be living in the United States in the twenty-first century, and I am even more privileged to have a husband who encourages me to dream big and not worry so much about the housework. Sometimes, from my privileged perspective, it seems like feminism has done its work.

But there is work still to be done.

Read Around the World: My Favorite Authors

I am on an epic journey to read a book by an author from every country in the world in alphabetical order. When I finish a book, I often think, Damn, I want to read everything this author has written, but if I do that, I’ll never finish this quest. I’m going to keep track of my favorite authors here for future reading ambitions.

  1. Ismail Kadare (Albania)
  2. Assia Djebar (Algeria): I definitely want to finish her Algerian Calvacade. The book I read, Fantasia, was so lush, I could see someone using this book as an amazing starting point for a college thesis. (And if you write that thesis, send it to me!)
  3. Jamaica Kincaid (Antigua and Barbuda):
  4. Narine Abgaryan (Armenia): I’ll read anything she writes. Even a shopping list.
  5. Kate Grenville (Australia)
  6. Ella Leya (Azerbaijan): but Leya is primarily a jazz musician, so not sure if she has more novels she wants to write.
  7. Janice Lynn Mather (The Bahamas)
  8. Taslima Nasrin (Bangladesh)

Read Around the World: Afghanistan

I am attempting to read a book by an author from every country in the world in alphabetical order! Is this a slightly crazy project? Hell, yes! But I felt called to do it, and the call kept nagging, and so here I am. Embarking on an epic reading project.

I have a backlog of books that I’ve read since October 2023, so I need to play catchup with some blog posts. Because if you are going to read a book from every freaking country, then you better document that shit, right?

Up first: Afghanistan.

Full disclosure: I actually started with Albania because I had already read The Kite Runner by Afghan author Khaled Hosseini, but then I decided I want to read a book from every country in order, without skipping any countries. So I hunted around for another Afghan author and stumbled upon My Pen is the Wing of a Bird, a collection of short stories by Afghan women.

This book was heartbreakingly wonderful. So much anguish but also hope, perseverance, and resistance. I’ve seen so many stories about Afghanistan in the news, but these stories profoundly depend my understanding of the tribulations Afghans face, giving me glimpses into their domestic lives.

This book was developed through Untold Narrative’s Write Afghanistan project and I’m so grateful they translated these stories into English and gave me a window into this world. As I writer, I was reminded of how blessed I am to live in the United States, where I don’t have to censor my stories and can write freely about subjects taboo in other parts of the world, like mental health and peri menopause.

It’s books like My Pen is the Wing of a Bird that remind me of how important stories are.

24 in ’24: The January Progress Report

I like to concoct lists of projects that I hope to complete during the new year. I got this idea from one of my favorite podcasts, Happier With Gretchen Rubin, and I’ve been doing it since 2022. Here’s the progress I made in January on my 24 in ’24:

  1. No soda or caffeine. I have no had a drop of soda! That’s the primary goal. On the caffeine front, I’ve had chocolate (acceptable, according to me) and I had one Thai iced tea at a restaurant. I’m really only concerned about imbibing caffeine via coffee or soda, so I’m winning here.
  2. Take an introductory class at a rock climbing gym. Not yet.
  3. Read 100 books. As of today, I’ve read eight books and according to Goodreads, I’m on track to finish 100. .
  4. Attend 100 hot yoga classes. I attended nine hot yoga and hot pilates classes in January, so I’m a smidge ahead of schedule.
  5. Write the rough draft of my third novel. In progress! My kids wore me down and I’m writing a children’s book for them.
  6. Paint a room in our house. Or the front door. Or a mural. Not yet!
  7. Try 24 new recipes. I tried two new recipes in January, pad Thai and smashed chicken meatball sliders.
  8. Record an audiobook. I did a little research about this, and honestly, this might not be the DIY job I imagined.
  9. Get 52 mega nature doses. I got four mega doses of Mother Nature: (1) a trip to Santa Barbara wine country with Nathan, which included lunch at the beach, driving through beautiful countryside, sitting on the front porch of a winery and soaking up the vineyards, and stopping at a scenic point to see a dam; (2) a walk around Descanso Gardens; and (3) and (4) walks at the Huntington. I hadn’t been to the Huntington since before the Covid shutdowns, but I felt inspired by 24 in ’24 to renew my membership and damn, I forgot how much I love that place.
  10. Make a five year plan. Not yet!
  11. Complete 24 craft projects. I worked on several projects — a crochet poncho, amigurumi pigs, and this big ass embroidery project that will take all year — but I did not complete any.
  12. Help the kids prepare a family meal once a month. Julian prepared the new smashed chicken meatball sliders, and Pippa made pad Thai.
  13. Plan a family trip to the Grand Canyon. Nathan and I are actually planning a trip to Mt. Rushmore for this summer, so I haven’t thought about the Grand Canyon. Need to nail down those our South Dakota logistics first!
  14. Get 24 minutes of fresh air every day. I did this every day in January and have continued my streak into February. Today, it’s been raining all day but I put on a jacket, grabbed my biggest umbrella, and took a lovely walk.
  15. Tap dance 20 times. I haven’t done this yet. I should start tomorrow since it will still be raining!
  16. Walk an average of 10,000 steps/day. I’m a little behind here. I average 9,448 steps/day in January, but this is actually motivating me to find new ways to sneak in my daily steps.
  17. Record 25 podcast episodes. I recorded one in January and a second on February 1.
  18. Create a TikTok 100 weekdays in a row. I started doing this on Thursday, January 4, and have not yet missed a weekday.
  19. Visit the Gamble House. Not yet.
  20. Take monthly family portraits. We took a family portrait in January, and I have it on my To Do list for February.
  21. Learn how to make balloon animals. Not yet.
  22. Visit The Broad. Not yet but discussed doing this with a friend.
  23. Track time spent sitting vs. time spent standing for a month. Not yet.
  24. Joy Tracking! Wherein I keep track of things that boost my wellness and happiness but are not part of this project (e.g. boardgames played; movies watched; new places visited). I’ve been doing this!

Episode 42: The Dark Side of Girl Scout Cookies

Full disclosure: My daughter LOVES selling Girl Scout cookies. It’s probably her favorite part about being a Girl Scout. And I think it’s a great confidence builder, getting out there and asking friends, neighbors and teachers if they want to buy some Thin Mints.

But there are some issues.

I do not love that in the Los Angeles Council, troops need to participate in the Fall Product fundraising (selling shitty nuts) and sell Girl Scout cookies before they can participate in other types of fundraising. What about making friendship bracelets and selling them for $1? Just so the girls get the experience of designing and marketing a product? I find these restrictions on fundraising especially slimy because the top three executives in Los Angeles are paid in excess of $200,000, and those fat salaries come from Girl Scout cookies peddled by cute little girls.

Girl Scouts is an organization that empowers girls. This is awesome! Yeah, girl power! Yet the business of selling Girl Scout cookies is largely powered by parental volunteer hours, and though I know some dads help, the burden is mostly carried by moms. What message does this send? Girls are awesome but once you become a mom, you should pour your soul into volunteering at the expense of your sanity?

Then there’s the way the business of selling cookies whips girls and parents into a frenzy. In 2021, when there were cookies shortages, parents did not behave well. I attended a Zoom session for cookie chairs and watched in amazement as moms lost their minds because their daughters were not going to be able to earn some shitty prize. Cookie season fires up my daughter’s competitive spirit and she gets worried that the neighbors across the street (six daughters, four are Girl Scouts) are going to “steal” her customers.

Then there’s the way selling cookies exposes girls to diet culture. I’ve seen it happen. The girls are outside a grocery store, selling cookies, and customers says, “I can’t, I’m on a diet.” Diet culture is pervasive, but this article drew my attention to some issues I’ve never considered so now, when comments like that get made, I can have an honest conversation with my daughter and the girls in our troop.

All in all, I think the pros of selling Girl Scout cookies outweigh the cons, but by becoming aware of these issues, I can address them with my daughter and turn the dark side of Girl Scout cookies into a positive learning experience.

’23 in 23: The Good, The Bad, The Forgotten

At the beginning of last year, I picked 23 projects that I wanted to tackle in 2023. I knew at the outset I would not finish all 23 projects, but it’s fun to see what sticks and what doesn’t. Let’s see how it went!

  1. Attend fifty hot yoga classes: I attended my 50th class on October 2 and finished the year strong with a total of 70 classes. Go, me! (This year I’m excited to attend 100 classes.)
  2. Track what I eat for 30 days in a row: I completed this in January. 
  3. Drink at least 64 oz of water/day for 30 days in a row: Ditto.
  4. Publish my second novel: Yes! I published Once Upon An Anxious Mom in December.

5. Read 100 books for myself: I read 110 books. I think about 68 of these were audiobooks.

6. Try 23 new recipes: I tried 11 new recipes in total. I’m trying again this year with my 24 in ’24 project.

7. Cook with mushrooms 23 times: I cooked with mushrooms four times, but Nathan, inspired by my efforts, starting roasting mushrooms often when he grills steak. So mission accomplished: mushrooms are part of our life.

8. Bake 23 loaves of bread: I baked one loaf. Lol.

9. Make 23 different buttons with my button maker: I imagined that I would design and make 23 buttons for myself. What ended up happening was I used my button maker at different events during the year — the school’s Welcome Back Fair, my niece’s birthday party, a Girl Scout meeting, a Girl Scout pumpkin patch — and made over 100 buttons during the year. I didn’t design them, but I am now a pro with the button maker. Mission accomplished!

10. Finish 23 craft projects (not including buttons): I completed 15, but some were big, like crocheting Christmas stockings for the kids. I’m trying this one again in my 24 in ’24.

11. Watch 12 different Creativebug classes: I watched one. So I just stopped working on this post and cancelled my subscription. I can rejoin whenever I have the time or inclination.

12. Draw 12 times: I drew seven times. It’s not my main crafting/artistic outlet.

13. Play 23 different board/card games: I got so close! I made it to 20 different boardgames and was going to play three games on December 31, but then I was so completely gassed from the holidays and a cold, I spent the day lounging in bed instead. But I’m giving myself a Win on this one because I played a ton of games multiple times, and the kids and I got into the habit of playing boardgames and card games together.

14. Watch 23 movies with my kids: We watched sixteen movies together. A decent chunk! Half credit.

15. Write 23 blog posts: I did this and then some! I think of blogging as something I do for myself. If I end up attracting readers who enjoy my work and buy my books, fantastic! But that’s not the objective. This is a practice that helps me reflect and live my life intentionally.

16. Visit 23 new places: I completed this goal early in 2023 and I’ve noticed that visiting new places is definitely good for my soul. My cavewoman ancestors were the ones who strayed far away from the cave and found new streams and date trees and shit like that. I’m not content staying at home 24/7.

17. Go on 12 hikes: I went on three hikes. I realize I have a couple of impediments on this front: my kids play sports, so our weekends are busy; and I love hot yoga, so that eats up a lot of my exercise time during the week. But the three hikes I went on filled up my soul so this year, I’m endeavoring to get 52 mega doses of nature.

18. Do 23 things I have never done before: I did this! This might make a good podcast episode…

19. Finish decluttering the house!  I’m giving myself an A+ here because I made so much freaking progress. Most importantly, I gutted and reclaimed our garage and basement (just one room, but more than most Californians have). I learned along the way that decluttering is not an end goal but a state of mind. I have to keep decluttering throughout the year, especially with growing kids.

20. Indulge my inner child 23 times: Mission accomplished! Highlights include making fudge, having Lucky Charms for breakfast in March, getting passes to Universal Studios, and starting tennis lessons in August.

21. Publish 12 podcast episodes: I published 6 episodes, but I did get back into podcasting and like blogging, it’s a practice that helps me feel like my best self. This year, I’m attempting 24 podcast episode in ’24. I think it will be easier to hit the higher number because I’ll build momentum and procrastinate less.

22. Attend 12 live performances: Done! And damn, I saw some amazing shows. This was so good for my soul.

23. Spend 20 hours gardening: Done, and then some.

I completed thirteen of these projects and nearly finished #13, so WOOT WOOT.

Lessons learned: I’m not the bread baker I thought I was but I do love boardgames.

Introducing Project 24 in ’24

Another year, another project! Instead of resolutions, I like to concoct lists of projects that I hope to complete during the new year. I got this idea from one of my favorite podcasts, Happier With Gretchen Rubin, and I’ve been doing it since 2022. I need to do a recap soon of my 23 in ’23, but I wanted to post my 24 in ’24 before we get too deep into 2024. Without further ado:

  1. No soda or caffeine. I broke up with caffeine (for about the millionth time) last summer, but I continued drinking caffeine-free diet soda, and ugh, I’m sick of that habit. I want to see how healthy I feel without diet soda.
  2. Take an introductory class at a rock climbing gym.
  3. Read 100 books. Bonus points: read at least 25 books for Project Read Around the World.
  4. Attend 100 hot yoga classes. This includes the hot pilates classes offered at my studio if I decide to expand my repertoire. Also, my studio offers streaming classes that were recorded during the Covid shutdowns, and if I take those classes outside in the heat while traveling, I’ll count those to my goal.
  5. Write the rough draft of my third novel. This can be either the third book in The Motherhood Circus series or a children’s chapter book. Stay tuned!
  6. Paint a room in our house. Or the front door. Or a mural on the bleak bare wall that’s out back by our lemon tree. Point is: paint something at home.
  7. Try 24 new recipes. My goal was to try 23 recipes in 2023 and that didn’t happen, but I’d like to give this another go.
  8. Record an audiobook. This is a longterm career goal. Hopefully putting it on this list will motivate me to take the time to learn how to record an audiobook and then invest the time in that project.
  9. Get 52 mega nature doses. Taking a neighborhood walk does not count. Things that do count: hikes; beach days; walks through botanical gardens; anything that gets me out of City Mode and into the healing presence of Mother Nature.
  10. Make a five year plan. Seems like the time to do this is ripe because I’m turning 45 tomorrow, and holy shit, in five years I will turn FIFTY.
  11. Complete 24 craft projects. This is another do-ever from 2023. I didn’t finish 23 craft projects last year, but I had fun trying. Let’s see what happens this year.
  12. Help the kids prepare a family meal once a month. Each kid gets to pick a recipe and prepare it for dinner or breakfast.
  13. Plan a family trip to the Grand Canyon. I’ve learned that the best months to visit are March-May and that hotels can get booked a year in advance, so I want to do the research now so I can make it happen in 2025.
  14. Get 24 minutes of fresh air every day. Last year, Gretchen Rubin challenged her community of podcast listeners to get 23 minutes of fresh air, and I really liked that idea, but I never got momentum on it. (Probably because my dad was in the ICU for 10 days in February.) I’d like to do it this year, and so far, it’s been a helpful reminder to get my butt outside. Fresh air feeds the soul.
  15. Tap dance 20 times. I think this was on my list in 2022? I always imagine myself tap dancing. Damnit, let’s make it happen.
  16. Walk an average of 10,000 steps/day. On days that I practice hot yoga, I typically get 7000-8000 steps. This goal has been motivating me to walk extra to make up the deficit on hot yoga days.
  17. Record 25 podcast episodes.
  18. Create a TikTok 100 weekdays in a row (though if I actually make a weekend TikTok, that will count toward the streak)
  19. Visit the Gamble House.
  20. Take monthly family portraits.
  21. Learn how to make balloon animals.
  22. Visit The Broad.
  23. Track time spent sitting vs. time spent standing for a month.
  24. Joy Tracking! Wherein I keep track of things that boost my wellness and happiness but are not part of this project (e.g. boardgames played; movies watched; new places visited)

Ep. 40 Bitches Love Witches

It’s October and nearly Halloween, and this year, I’m thinking a lot about witches. People tend to think of witches as evil but I love stories that reclaim witches and allow them to be good, strong and powerful. Why must a woman who practices magic be considered evil? Is the idea of the evil witch in the woods just another tool for controlling women, keeping them in line and fitting into the patriarchy’s mold? Let’s save the witches from patriarchal stereotypes because bitches love witches.

In this episode, I discuss stories I’ve enjoyed that feature witches who break out of the stereotype of witches as evil crones. The classic wicked witch is the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz, but Gregory Maguire gives us a more complicated “heroine” in his book Wicked, and then the musical Wicked fully redeems Elphaba.

Other witchy books I’ve recently enjoyed and highly recommend:

  • VenCo by Cherie Dimaline
  • The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna
  • Her Majesty’s Royal Coven, by Juno Dawnson
  • The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow 

Around the World In 195 Books

I’ve been toying with the idea of reading one book by an author from every country in the world, and two nights ago, I dived into this project with The Doll by Ismail Kadare, an Albanian author.

This immediately felt wrong. I should have started with Afghanistan and worked my way through the list of 195 countries (give or take a few) alphabetically. Originally, I thought it would be interesting to skip around from continent to continent, crossing off countries as I went, but there’s just something so satisfying about an alphabetical list, so after Albania, I’ll go back to Afghanistan.

There’s actually a good reason I skipped Afghanistan: I’ve already read The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. But now that I’ve officially embraced Project: Around the World in 195 Books, I want to read a book from every country in order. Why? Because it’s my damn project and that’s what I want to do!

I’m excited to be an armchair traveler with this project, discovering authors that would have otherwise never crossed my radar. When I mention this project to friends and family, they have the same concerns – That’s going to take forever! and How will you find books from obscure countries?

As to the first concern, I fully accept that this project will take five to ten years. I read about 100 books a year, but I’m not going to be sadistic and force myself to only read books for this project. I’m in a book club which accounts for 12 books a year, and I also intend to read all the cozy mysteries, love stories, and thrillers my heart desires. But if I read two books a month for this project, that’s 24 books a year, and with roughly 195 countries in the world (it changes!), this project will take 8.125 years.

Okay, that’s a long ass time.

But I have time! I’m excited for a slow, leisurely project that lets me travel the world and my muse keeps telling me to do this, so I might as well try.

As to the second concern, yes, there are some very small countries that might not have local authors with books that have been translated to English. But I’m not the first person to launch this sort of project, so I’m sure the internet can point me to some books, and if not, I’ll be creative. I’ll read blog posts by a local writer or poems or newspaper articles. I don’t have the entire project mapped out yet and that’s part of the fun.